—How to Build a Covert Kitty Distraction Device in 5 Minutes

Supplies (Office Espionage Edition)

✔ Core Materials:

• 10 paperclips (steal from Accounting – theirs are sturdiest)
• Staples (for detailing)
• Highlighter (cat eye accents)

✔ Camouflage Tools:

• Open Excel spreadsheet (production cover)
• Tea cup (“just looking for my chamomile” decoy)

Step-by-Step Guide (With Boss Detection Risk Rating)

1. Basic Model: Spring-Loaded Paw
① Chain 5 paperclips into Z-shape
② Mold ends into toe beans (use staples for creases)
③ Performance Stats:

• Springiness: ★★★☆
• Stealth: ★★★★ (passes as bookmark)
• Boss Radar: 20% (unless they’re a cat person)

2. Pro Version: Perpetual Dangler
① Triangle base with 3 paperclips
② Suspend twisted “crazy mouse” from top
③ Secret Tech:
Hide magnet under mousepad for autonomous chasing

3. HR Hazard Edition: Full Hunting Simulator

• File tray → “Jump platform”
• Binder clip + rubber band → “Auto-launch” fur ball
• Warning: Banned by Office Admin in 3 departments

Pseudoscientific Explanation

“The nickel-titanium alloy in paperclips exhibits shape memory effect, perfectly replicating prey movement trajectories…” adjusts glasses

Stealth Protocol

• Prioritize silver paperclips (colored ones get reclaimed)
• Pair fidgeting with “deep thought” facial expressions
• If caught: Claim you’re “studying metal fatigue properties”

Easter Egg:
Bend a clip into CEO’s cat silhouette for bonus office cred.